How can you be kind to yourself when you’re failing?
In a learning process is likely that you will meet that “weak”, “lazy”, “stupid”, “coward” [insert your favourite self-deprecating word] side of yourself. Especially when you are riding on your elephant outside of your comfort zone, there will be moments when the elephant will be stubborn in not following directions from the rider.
Invitation
Be kind to yourself, especially as you walk through difficult terrain. Instead of being harsh, demanding and judgmental with yourself, be your own enlightened teacher that acknowledges the difficulty of the process end corrects with gentleness and patience while not doubting for a second the potential of their pupil. At the same time, acknowledge that what “the rider” wants, planned or imagined is not perfect. If you’re asking too much of yourself, try not to be an imperious asshole about it. Show some respect and love for who’s doing the hard work ;-)
Instructions for peer:
Encourage your peer to describe their internal dialogue to you. What do they say to themselves in critical moments? What do they say when they give up? What they say to themselves when they fail? Ask:
What would be an “enlightened teacher” dialogue you could have with yourself?
What is a fertile relationship between your rider and your elephant?
How can you cultivate a more kind relationship with your “weak” side?
Master this micro-skill
LOVE YOURSELF is not only a micro-skill for Learning Agility but a key ingredient for a fulfilling life. It is as difficult to develop as it is essential for a good life. The resources below will give some potential starting points:
Six Pillars of Self-Esteem
This is a good book about developing authentic self-esteem.
