Love the Process

How can you learn to love the discomfort of the process?


You did not expect that, did you?

You thought it would be easier, faster, simpler. Now you are frustrated, stuck and your enthusiasm is gone. You are not making the progress you expected and maybe this learning process it’s even as fun as you expected.


Banging your head on a wall is nobody’s learning plan ever. It is, unfortunately, the reality of a good learning process that eventually succeeds. You just need to keep trying until you make it through, under, over or around that wall. But, how do you do that?



Reframe your focus in this learning adventure: instead of being focused on the outcome, focus on the process. Have your eyes on the final objective only for orientation purposes. Otherwise, stop caring about the outcome, as that can be a pain in the ass for your motivation when the learning process naturally gets “off track” and into some tough spots. Why not turn the whole thing upside down and see yourself as being in this learning process precisely for those though spots. Be there because you are fascinated by what unexpected obstacles you will encounter. Be there because you love the curved balls that the learning process throws at you. Treat them as stimulating puzzles that your receive as a gift. Love taking punches from the learning process, take pleasure in getting back up and punching back. Remember that you’re playing a game, you’re there for the fun of it and just enjoying the game means winning it. As a bonus, loving the game will most likely get you to the result you’re after.

Down below you’ll find some ideas of how to cultivate this mindset.

Instructions for peer:

Offer the space for your peer to talk about the difficulties of the process and how those might be reframed and welcomed. Ask questions like:

  • “Is it possible to love the obstacles you encounter?”

  • “How can you find pleasure in outsmarting the obstacles?”

  • “Would life be fun for you if everything was easy? Would it be fun for everything to happen exactly as you planned?”

  • “What would it take for you to be grateful for each and every obstacle on the way?”


Master this micro-skill

Mastering LOVE THE PROCESS is one of the 40 “micro” skills that make up Learning Agility but can also be seen as big ingredient of a life of wisdom. It is a life-long pursuit to actually embody this and live each moment in presence and gratefulness, taking everything as it is and not as you thought it should be. It can be trained through meditation, prayer, yoga, thai-chi, martial arts and probably in many other ways. Here are some suggestions of what you can do to re-activate this perspective.


[This resource is not yet available. Don’t panic! Breathe in, breathe out, focus on your breath … just kidding :-)]

Power playlist

Make a playlist with songs that inspire you to continue in spite of obstacles and play it.

Your favourite “overcome adversity” movie

Make a poster

Make some jewelry



How to overcome fear: